Pausing and Reflecting – 2019’s Biggest Wins and FAILS!

Jan 16, 2020

I’ll start off by warning you that this may get a little deep, which these sometimes do. Nothing like the end of one year and the beginning of another to make a person really stop and analyze life. December is when we tend to reflect on the year that we had, the good, the bad and what we maybe could have done better. But now it’s January which is the time we look ahead, set our goals and light that fire for what we’re gonna do. It’s an exciting and hopeful month but it can also be tough.

We start out with these high expectations we set for ourselves then a lot of us burn out on them and quickly lose that momentum. That is why I’ve learned from past years that while it’s important to set my goals and intentions for the year, it’s equally important for me to also take it easy on myself. Maybe I’m still in recovery mode from the holidays but January is now a time for me to be a little bit kinder to myself. Then when February rolls around, I usually feel a little more prepared to really dive into my goals. It’s also a time for me to pause and reflect on the past year. What were my wins last year? Where did I fail? For more details on my biggest wins and fails of 2019 click on the Coffee Chat below.

The Wins

I’m decided I’m going to start this off on a positive note by discussing what I feel are my greatest wins of last year and they all deal with personal development. For the past few years, I felt like I’ve been stagnant. I stayed in the same space emotionally and it was a big year for me to break out of some old patterns that I was in.

1. Overcoming Confidence Issues

I have been totally transparent about this with all of you but confidence issues are something that has plagued my entire life. To help with this I decided it was time for a therapy ‘brush-up.’ I hadn’t been in therapy on a regular basis in a few years and confidence is something that I can absolutely work on there. My belief in myself this past year has blossomed. It’s led to so many powerful changes that have allowed me to be a better leader, wife, mom, daughter, sister and friend.

2. Practicing Self-Compassion

One of the other things my therapist wanted me to work on was really being more compassionate with myself. For years I used criticism as my driving force. I implore others to be kinder to themselves yet my own negative self-talk was out of control. I really had to be aware and monitor myself. I realized that I needed to make that shift towards being compassionate to myself. I’m still working on the self-compassion thing but awareness is half the battle.  

3. Acceptance

This was also a big one – acceptance. Acceptance of what makes me different as a human being and as an influencer. And I got to say that this community, all of you specifically, have helped with this so much. I see Get Your Pretty On as a movement, as a mission. I feel like the mission has always been about a few key things that are central to who I am. I want to be inclusive. This should be for every woman. I believe personal style and feeling good in your clothes and feeling confident is not reserved for a certain subgroup of women in this world. It is for everybody, every body, every budget, everyone. No exceptions. I want everybody to feel good in their clothes. Style and confidence go hand in hand and that is a part of my core mission.

4. Being Open With My Feelings

I feel like vulnerability has been the key to unlocking relationships whether it’s with my family, with my friends and with you all. Being more open with my feelings and being more vulnerable has been a huge win for me this year. Along with that is being more direct about my needs from others. And this goes across the board from being more direct with Craig about things that I needed from him to being more direct with my team. I needed to really focus on being clear about expectations and asking for what I want instead of expecting people to read my mind.

The Fails

I struggled with identifying these, not because I’m afraid to admit to failure, but because they were reframed as learning opportunities. Trust me, as mentioned above, I am the first person to admit to my flaws and shortcomings. But reflecting over the past year there were definitely some notable missteps.

1. Ignoring My Health

I ignored a health issue that I had for two months. The funny thing is that I feel like I do take really good care of myself. I work out three times a week. I try to eat right 80 percent of the time. I try to do all those things to keep my body healthy. However, I got really busy and did a lot of traveling and I largely ignored what my body was telling me. I’m just now starting to get some answers. It’s something autoimmune, which I suspected all along, but letting it get to a certain point where it went from being a smaller problem to being a bigger problem is something I regret. In 2020 I’ve got to make taking care of myself a better priority.

2. Too Many Directions

I threw my energy into too many different directions and expected results in all of those. Instead, I should have focused on a few key areas. If you’re juggling too many balls at once, eventually one of those balls is going to drop. It’s important to prioritize and then go at it with laser focus. I’m doing a much better job of that this year and focusing on a much smaller set of things. And we’ll see how that goes.

3. Trying To Do Everything

I thought I could do it all on my own and that I could do it better. I didn’t ask for help and I didn’t delegate. I may have missed out on some opportunities because of this, but I’ve realized that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. Delegating it’s a weakness, it’s empowering others to rise up whether it’s with my family or with my team.

4. Revenue Goal vs. Impact Goal

As I mentioned, I start off the year goal setting both personally and professionally. With any business, the first goal set is usually a revenue goal so you have something to work towards. However, I realized the problem with setting a revenue goal is that it doesn’t drive me, it doesn’t light a fire under me for the coming year. I’m a person who gets complacent and satisfied sometimes with enough. I learned that what I’m passionate about, what truly motivates me is an impact goal. How many women’s lives can I change? What is the impact that I can create? Where can I volunteer? Where can I donate? What can I do with the money that’s coming in to use it as a vehicle for impact and change? And making that shift made all the difference for me.

5. Bangs

Just being 100% honest but I totally regret getting bangs last year. I liked them for about two weeks tops and then proceeded to spend the rest of the year wishing they would grow out faster. I’ve learned that I will never ever, ever, have bangs again.

My One Word

I know, the one-word thing is super trendy right now and everybody’s doing this when setting their intentions for 2020. Nevertheless, my one word for this year is gratitude. This past year in therapy, one of the things that I realized is that I had a lot of anxiety. I’m an anxious person. Good anxious energy drives me and pushes me in new directions. But it can also wear me down and make me really, really tired. One of the things my therapist challenged me to do was shift from anxious thoughts to grateful thoughts. So now anytime anxiety, fear, worry, whatever pops into my head I stop and shift that to gratitude instead. I list off all of the things that I’m grateful for every single day. This has truly been lifechanging for me.

I’m going to leave you with this final thought that my therapist also shared with me, “you can ruminate on bad things or you can ruminate on good things. The choice is yours.” 

Your turn! How did your 2019 go? What were your wins? Your fails? What would be your one-word for 2020?

Winter Burnout – Are You Feeling It?

Dec 26, 2019

So how is everyone feeling right now? Anyone else suffering from burnout? It seems to be a recurring theme among pretty much every woman that I’ve encountered or talked to this week. I think a lot of us are just feeling really burnout right now. I myself have been going through this and usually about twice a year I get to this point where I just feel like everything is overwhelming me. The things that normally excite me, like getting ready for Christmas or getting ready for a vacation or whatever it may be, I just find stressful. When I wake up in the morning and feel a sense of dread, I know that burnout is coming on. That is why I wanted to talk about it today because so often we wear it like a badge of honor when it comes to always grinding, always accomplishing, always doing and doing and doing. We tend to hide the struggles that come with that and I myself am very guilty of that. For more details on burnout and how I handle it, checkout my coffee chat below.

Recognizing the Signs

First off, I’m going to tell you, I don’t have all the answers. I’m going to share with you what works for me and maybe you’ll gain some wisdom from that. I just want you to know that if you’re feeling less than joyful right now, that I’m with you in that and I am trying to rediscover that joy and know that it’s time to do something about it. Burnout happens as a result of this continuous stress cycle that we’re in. And stress can be good or bad. I feel good stress in my job. I don’t really feel a lot of bad stress. I love it. I love what I do. And that’s a good thing. But good stress can also be hard on your body, too. That’s why you have to learn how to close that stress cycle loop and really just take care of yourself and try to recognize that burnout is coming. 

As I said, I love what I do. I love my job. I can do it all day, all night. I have to stop myself, which puts me in a really unique position. I understand there’s a lot of people who don’t have that privilege or that opportunity, but it also causes me to overextend myself sometimes and to not recognize when I do need to take breaks or when I am starting to feel burnout. I have to really be aware of that and watch for the red flags and warning signs. For me the warning signs include the dread of getting out of bed, wasting time, being short with my family and feeling sluggish. 

How I Get Back on Track

1. Eating Better & Working Out

This time of year, I don’t eat the best. I eat a lot of sugar and I indulge and I love it because it’s the time of the year to do that. However, I also know that I’m going to hit the reset button soon. Usually after January 1st and I’ll start eating healthy again. But to compensate, I do keep up with my workouts and I try to stay with that routine because I know more than anything that that is the thing that is going to make me feel really, really good. I do my orange theory workouts three times a week religiously. I book them on the calendar. I don’t cancel with them. I keep that commitment to myself because I know that my workouts are going to help me to release any of the stress in my body and help me feel better.

2. Get Plenty of Rest

I get plenty of rest, too. This is a time of year where I don’t mind that I sleep in. I don’t have to get up early and drive Ava to school so I take advantage of that and try to sleep in a little bit longer than I normally would. All of these things definitely help to heal that stress response and help me feel better in my physical body and then help me to reset emotionally. I find, too, that when I do this, I gain tons of clarity about the upcoming year. So whether it’s sleeping in or getting to bed early, getting plenty of rest is important. 

3. Taking Time Off

I do my goal setting during this time of the year and in order to do this effectively, I have to really take a step back to be able to see things from a higher level. That’s why I try to take a little time off. Being able to step back from the business and step back from everything allows me to do just that and to set really big goals for the year both personally and professionally. It allows me to decompress and regain clarity. So if you’re able to try to take time off, time for yourself and step away for even a moment.

So if you’re feeling less than joyful right now or you’re feeling really exhausted and overwhelmed, then do what you need to do to take care of yourself. The whirlwind will be over soon and we can all step back. Honestly, my favorite week of the year is the one between Christmas and New Year’s, because I just really fully feel like that’s the week where I can take a deep breath and just really relax with my family. So we’re almost there. We’re almost to the finish line! I hope you had a very blessed and very merry Christmas and all the best in 2020! 

If you have any tips on burnout or things that have worked for you, don’t be afraid to share them below!